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Our first child, Tanner Lee, passed September 28, 2003, at 38 weeks gestation from a cord
accident. Almost immediately family and friends were donating plants and money in his name.
My husband works in the landscape industry and I have a degree in Landscape Architecture. It
was difficult to fathom creating anything at the time of his passing, but they must have known.
We both needed an outlet, and building a garden to memorialize Tanner was just that. It took
7 months of working on the weekends to complete. We argued, we cried and we loved Tanner in
his garden. May 15, 2004 was a gathering of family and friends for Tanners garden dedication.
One of the last stages of grieving is acceptance. Placing Tanners ashes by his cross released
more pain for me. So I make sure white annuals are always blooming at the base. Living in the
mild climate of North Carolina gives us the option to have white flowers blooming year round.
The memory garden tip sheet can be used by any family member whether brother,
mother, aunt or friend. Whether your time with them ended recently or 50 years ago, there is
a need to grieve. We are trying to compose our doorway to heaven and create a space to reflect
upon your earthly time and dream of your eternal life together. Even if you do not have a picture
or have not held them physically, there are abstract methods that can apply to each unique
situation. The same tips can be applied to other crafts such as Scrapbooking, Drawings, Needlepoint
and others.
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